I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
