Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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