You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize