Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
