oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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