He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize