when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
