Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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