You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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