Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
we should paint friendship bongs
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
