she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
