My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
