It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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