My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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