i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
