my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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