watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
