You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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