He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
