you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We had sex on a dog bed..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
