can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
