If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
