No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
