We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
