I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize