You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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