How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
