My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
