My vagina just recognized that song.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize