that's an acceptable place to lick
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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