im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
