Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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