It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
