wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
