she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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