I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
