Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My dick has a subreddit
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize