i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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