I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
