i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
