Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
