I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
