I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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