And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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