If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
