so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
