the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How does one acquire holy water?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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