i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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