I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
