So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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