she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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