Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
