ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
