I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
