The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
