i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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